I was doing my usual wandering around various Golden Tee message boards to see what was making headlines, when I came across a thread titled “Kinzler” on Let’s Talk Golf. I took a big gulp of coffee, turned up my horrid iTunes play list, and quickly read up on perhaps the most fascinating Golden Tee story ever.

I had known long before I started at IT about two-time GT World Champion Graig Kinzler and his “alleged” 35 under, but I didn’t quite know what to make of it. -20 is a great game, –25 will usually pay for your game (except maybe on Bonnie Moor), –30 is just flat out bonkers. What the hell does that make –35?

It’s like Babe Ruth’s calling his homerun or Sidd Finch and his 168 mph fastball. The difference; however, is that this actually happened! Sorry Babe, but I’m not buying it.

I saw Kinzler play for the first time back at the Midwest Regional event in 2007. I wasn’t working at IT, and this was my first taste of really good GT. I watched Graig play in a game during practice; just waiting to see his personal best finally show up after the game. Nerdy? Yup. Weird? Maybe a little. Did I find what I was looking for? You betcha.

-35.

My personal best at the time was somewhere around –21. I just couldn’t imagine someone beating my monster round (yes, I’m joking) by fourteen strokes. I’ve since gotten a lot better, (hold the applause), and yet the idea of shooting –35 still makes me want to laugh… or cry.

The feat was done on Kangaroo Trail, a Golden Tee LIVE original with one of my all-time personal favorite course logos. Sure, the setup was great, but favorable setups don’t lead to three aces, two of which were on par4s, including one on eighteen to seal the deal. If seeing his score on his game more than two years ago wasn’t enough, Kinzler posted up his hole-by-hole breakdown in the thread. Let’s see you try this!

Hole 1…Par 4 (-2)
Hole 2…Par 4 (-4)
Hole 3…Par 3 (-5)
Hole 4…Par 5 (-7)
Hole 5…Par 4 (-9)
Hole 6…Par 3 (-11)
Hole 7…Par 5 (-13)
Hole 8…Par 4 (-15)
Hole 9…Par 4 (-18)
Hole 10…Par 4 (-20)
Hole 11…Par 5 (-22)
Hole 12…Par 4 (-24)
Hole 13…Par 3 (-25)
Hole 14…Par 4 (-27)
Hole 15…Par 5 (-29)
Hole 16…Par 5 (-31)
Hole 17…Par 3 (-32)
Hole 18…Par 4 (-35)

Umm.. YouTube anyone?

Maybe most impressive is that he went into the eighteenth hole with a -32. This just happens to be the best round of ’09. Or the fact that he shot -18 on the front and -17 on the back, both of which are great full rounds for ninety percent of the GT public. Did I mention he had 15 eagles or better? I mean, really?

I guess it’s time for me to practice. And practice. And practice. “We’re talking about practice?” Thanks A.I.

And maybe one day that planets will align and  I will hit that -30, all the while wondering where the hell I could have picked up five more shots to tie Kinz’s -35.

Kudos my friend.