Posts Tagged ‘Golden’


The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: Part 3

By Adam Kramer | April 29th, 2010

AK here, but don’t worry, Duffer fans – he’ll be back in a second. In the meantime, let’s avoid the whole Molotov cocktail thing at all costs.

We thought we’d tie a bow on The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly in 2010 by sharing the spotlight on some of last year’s best of the worst. Duffer started things off with The Good, I pinch-hit for The Bad, and now the two of us are combining forces to bring you the U-G-L-Y.

This might just be the most amazing tag team assembled since the Midnight Express and their turnbuckle-antics back in the early 80s.

But before I dive deeper into my wrestling throwback knowledge, there’s some work to take care of. Some dirty, dirty work…

You see, it’s not easy to describe the following designs, so I’ll be frank – these designs were the “Yo Mamma” jokes of last year.  They were the designs that made you want to throw up in your mouth, swallow it, then throw it up again. But you know what?

THAT’S WHY WE %^&ING LOVE ‘EM.

All of ‘em. And we appreciate all of the work that was put in, and you know why? These designs were unique, and the people took a chance to separate themselves from the rest of the pack. Hell, we practically forced you to do it when we encouraged you to try something new.

You see, Ugly doesn’t mean Bad. Ugly is simply an easy way to say this particular drawing didn’t fit into this contest. Plus, what kind of series would The Good, The Bad, and the Not-So-On-The-Mark be?

Think of it this way – these are the designs that belong on a wall in a bar, not on a virtual golf course…

So congratulations UGLY people, cause I say your nomination is pretty fantastic.

So now that my man Duffer Dan can sink his teeth back into this fun little feature – welcome him back with open arms. As always, this is meant in good fun so keep that in mind and try and keep the hate mail to a minimum. I mean, who could possibly hate on The Midnight Express. Look at the hair. LOOK AT IT.

Take it away, DD!

Young Adam, you’ve done an eloquent job illustrating the nuances of “Ugly” and now please step aside and allow me to put a cap on it with this visual representation:

Look up “Ugly” in the dictionary and see General Larry Platt and his goofy ass grin.  Not only did this ugly diddy infest the HDTV’s in millions of households through American Idol, it also hit the billboard charts, “The View” and was copied by that ass-slapping Minnesota Viking’s quarterback.  The point here is that sometimes it’s the ugliest of ducklings that turn into swans… Or is it the dumbest of swans that we can laugh at for being ugly…  I don’t know, it’s something like that.  Anyway  HERE WE GO with the grand finale!

U-G-L-Y YOU AINT GOT NO ALIBI, YOU UGLY!

It’s only fitting that this layout looks like a baseball on a tee from afar cause it’s time for me to knock this one out of Skipper Ripper Horner’s little league baseball field.  ”Wind Funnel” made the ugly list this year NOT cause it’s from GT’s favorite stat geek buddy, Skipper Ripper, NOT because it’s a par 3 between 50 and 300 (yes, 300) yards, NOT because it HAS to be hole #16 and NOT because its concave green defies Golden Tee physics.  What pushed this discombobulated drawing over the edge was the nerve of its designer to think it can play God.  Skipper, leave the wind alone…
Seriously, Kyle – a Death Star?  Come on, man.  This isn’t World of Warcraft, this is Golden Tee, brother.  If you were going to put a famous theatrical “space star” as shortcut in a Golden Tee design I would expect something entirely more fitting, such as “Mega Maid” from Spaceballs.  Your geekery gave this hole absolutely NO credibility and as Dark Helmut said, “We’re done with you.  Now go to the golf course and work on your putz!”
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, grab your hats and look out for bats because what you’re entering now is certifiably, undeniably, guaranteed to involve wee… er – beer – CAVE portion of today’s trip.  In corner number one you have “The Cavern” by former Team USA member, Justin Taylor – a high-resolution, full color cave experience that oddly resembles an askew jack-o-lantern.  And in corner number two you have the aptly named “The Cave” by Brian Kirschner – Brian opted for the much cleaner Picture Pages approach to convey his stalagmite-filled vision. I hate to be a kiljoy, but unless you were born in one of these masterpieces you should know that there has never been and will never be, a CAVE HOLE in Golden Tee Golf.  If any reader should decide to send a cave idea in for 2011, please include a rock for illustration and self-clubbing purposes.
Flaming “The Finish Line” by Russ Green is the hardest UGLY ribbing I’ve ever done.  Why? Cause this design is so near and dear to my heart.  Here’s a Duffer Dan fact – I am a Indy Racing junkie, with a particular fondness for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.  It is my love and my sporting sanctuary.  So the day I received a call asking permission to use the Greatest Spectacle in Racing as a DAH inspiration, I was floored and could’t wait to see it – until I did.  Russ, sadly, I need to point some things out to you 1) according to scale your fairway is 1,144 yards long and your tee boxes are upwards of 300-yards wide 2) you moved pit road, Gasoline Alley AND the pagoda and 3) you replaced the famed “yard of bricks” with checkered paint.  Sorry to say it, buddy, but there are already 4 real golf holes inside of the Brickyard and they’ve got you topped.  With all this said, it still does make me happy to see my two loves cross paths, even if it’s uglier than the 1968 Lotus turbine.
Travis Schoonover’s “Rooftop Delight” rounds out this year’s medley of monstrous masterpieces and it’s not for his lack of creativity.  Golden Tee has taken us to a variety of scary places before, but never any that would require a helicopter or Spidey senses to get from tee-to-green.  What pushed me over the edge was.. the… thought… of getting pushed over the edge!  Travis says “only the most daring players would go for the green in one” leaving out the fact that they scaled a damn building to tee-off!  OK, Schoony, next time you decide to break out Photoshop, leave the RedBull in the fridge and back down the testosterone – you’re just too damn creative to end it all like this.
_____________________________________________________________

So there you have it, folks – THE UGLY hole designs from the 2009 Design-a-Hole contest.  And just in case my partner, Adam “Randy Rose” Kramer didn’t include enough disclaimers, we seriously appreciate efforts put forth by today’s contestants.  You let us have a little fun with you and for that, we say thank you.  Now you sir, I’d appreciate it if you kindly remove your sniper rifle from the parking lot and give ol’ Duffer Dan a nice big bear hug in celebration of today’s display of disfigured doodles!

[Man, I am on fire with the alliterations!]

So, until next year, I bid this series farewell and look forward to showing off THE GREAT of 2010.  As you know, this year’s Design-a-Hole finalists have been announced and they are nothing short of spectacular.  So don’t forget to start voting next week, all the while remembering, that on the deep, disturbed hard drive of Duffer Dan’s computer lies the dark and dirty secret files that will be known as the 2010 The Good, The Bad and The Ugly…

Good times,

- Duffer Dan

Design-a-Hole 2010 Voting Starts April 3rd!

Goldentee.com

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Posted in Design-a-Hole Contest, Posts by "Duffer" Dan Schrementi, Posts by Adam Kramer | No Comments »


So Long, Sobe…

By "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | July 29th, 2009

SobeIn the event that you haven’t heard, the rumor is true – Steven Sobe is moving on… The 3-time National Champ and Golden Tee “Help Guy” is moving back home to Mt. Airy, NC to reopen his family business – the Golden Tee palace known as the Backstreet Pavilion.

Sobe is my friend.  And as a friend, I am happy for him as I know how badly he’s wanted to work side-by-side his Dad at Backstreet again.  But again, Sobe is my friend and it’s more bitter than sweet for me to see his office desk get cleaned out this week.  And sure, it’s not “good bye” it’s only “so long for now,” but still…

Sobe and I have a storied history and I thought the GTB is the perfect place for this homage to my pal.

The History

Sobe and I started in the same month at IT five-and-a-half years ago.  He was brought on to be “Sobe.”  I was brought on for other reasons – the most unique of which was to be “Duffer Dan” – Sobe’s n00b protege and communicator to the masses of virtual hacks.  Before blogging was blogging, I was blogging in the GT player forums with my supposed-to-be-funny diatribes called The Bronze Tapes: Excerpts from Duffer Dan’s Diary. Clever name, huh? (That’s why I make the big bucks…)

Anyway, “Duffer Dan” was intended to be a voice for average players.  It was my job to leverage learning the game from a GT champion into helpful, fun content for our player community.  Did it work?  Well, you tell me…   The name certainly stuck and the blog made it fourteen posts deep.  I may not have shaved strokes from other n00bs’ games but the Sobe/Duffer experiment was a success.

Classic Video from Houston

Classic Video from Houston

Our pairing became less master/protege and more Penn/Teller – sort of a comedic act ingrained in Golden Tee lore.  His matter-of-fact skill and my goofy, antagonistic shtick grew into something special.   We learned that just the tales of Sobe/Duffer are more fun, natural and interesting than anything else we could have done.  Sure, playing Golden Tee was the underlying theme of everything but “living the Golden Tee lifestyle” became the soul of our work.  And I am proud to say whether it’s our countless videos, podcasts or even this very blog post, Steven Sobe helped me forge a persona for Golden Tee and Incredible Technologies and for that, I owe him this tribute.

Well, Boo-Freakin’-Hoo

Yeah, yeah, Sobe is leaving.  And now that you know why I am compelled to write this tribute, it’s time move on and start my roast of this lovable S-O-B, Sobe.  I should add that everyone will be seeing Sobe off clingin’ glasses, sipping imported beer and exchanging hugs at Duffy’s in Palatine, IL on Wednesday 7/29.  Yes, I’ll be there but come on, that lovey-dovey stuff is just too boring for me.  There’s just so much that people need to know about Sobe to gain a full appreciation.  And since only a select few can hang with us at Duffy’s, I’d rather post my roast publicly.

In the IT marketing department we always say, “it ain’t easy bein’ Sobe” – and it’s time I reveal why.  So once again – like the young, wide-eyed Duffer Dan I once was – I will shed my final insight on what it’s like hangin’ with the man, the myth, the blue button, Steven Sobe, in a special piece I call the…

TOP 10 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT STEVEN SOBE

2007 Southern Regional: Sobe dominates Duffer with a lefty-righty in the CTTP demo

2007 Southern Regional: Sobe dominates Duffer with a lefty-righty in the CTTP demo

#10: Sobe is Ambidextrous

Righty, lefty, who gives a rip – Sobe will probably kick your ass either way.  When playing Golden Tee he pulls-back lefty and tees-off righty.  Now, how in the hell are you supposed to teach a n00b how to play with an antic like that?  It’s kind of like a driving instructor teaching you how to gas and brake as he steers the car with his feet!  Come on, Sobe… Yeah, we get it, we’re impressed that you’re equally adept with both L and R appendages but how about putting your talent to better use like juggling chainsaws, playing classical piano, or something?  Dude, it’s just a video game.

#9: Galaga, Pool, Golden Tee

GALAGAYes, in that order.  Don’t forget, he grew up in a pool hall and his Dad worked on a amusement game route.  Sobe had lots of time to home his skills.  I learned of these skills in 2004, first it was the Galaga machine at Friday’s Front Row in Orlando, FL.  Sobe said, “give me one quarter.  I’ve played for 4 hours on one quarter before.”  When I made him prove it, 1 quarter in, 60-minutes later – no dead lives – he quit because “the joystick was ‘laggy.’”

Pool?  It was at the X-Games in Los Angeles where Sobe and I were stationed for a week.  We were staying at the same hotel as all the bad-ass, biker, skater dudes.  The hotel bar was packed while the Sobester and I racked up for some R&R.  As Sobe was kicking my teeth in, some tattooed-skater crew threw a line of quarters on the rail to challenge “winner” for the table.  No words were spoken between Sobe and the crew and I watched as Sobe won 8-games in row, giving them maybe 5 shots.  No mercy…  During the ninth game, Sobe scratches on the eight-ball and quietly says, “ahh…  You got it.”  Sheeplishy, skater-dude replies, “Dude.  The table yours, man…”

#8: No, He Aint Good at Everything

For example, Steven Sobe sucks at riding mechanical bulls.  See video.

Sobe shows his boss, Scott, how to eat a dog. Burnt...

Sobe shows his boss, Scott, how to eat a dog. Burnt...

#7: The Connoisseur of Mediocrity

I am known as somewhat of a foodie around the office.  I don’t rub it any one’s face – hey, eat what you like – but, yes, I am particular about what I consider great.  Sobe too considers himself a connoisseur.  Though it’s time that he – and the world – know that prowess of his palette ends at the big, bright, neon of the restaurant franchise sign.  If you need advice on the best bacon-loaded-fried-nachos platter, or chicken-fried-grease-marinara pasta bowl, Sobe is your guy.  Though the local Portillo’s will miss his daily investment of “Italian beef w/cheese and bowl of chili no onions.”  (yeah, I know.  And I’m the fat one…)

#6: Ok, He’s Good at Everything

Sobe still thinks he can tame the X Games Big Air Jump

Sobe still thinks he can tame the X Games Big Air Jump

Whether you’re eying down the vertical incline of a 2-story half-pipe or watching a professional pitcher’s 95-mph four-seam fastball, in his quiet southern drawl, Sobe will non-shalantly reply with one of two statements: “That ain’t a big deal, Duff.  I can do that” or “That ain’t a big deal, Duff.  I’ve done that.”  Whether it’s hitting a 7-iron 200-yards, attacking a vert ramp on a skateboard, playing bags, darts, Silver Strike, beer pong, pick-up sticks, whatever – don’t bet against him.  Ever.   You will lose.  He can do it…

#5: “He’s a Hustler Baby and He Want’s You To Know”

Greatest business card ever.

Greatest business card ever.

Back in 2004, Sobe and I ventured into a bar in Santa Monica, CA.  Three jabronies were teeing up on some Golden Tee Fore! 2005 talking all sorts of smack with their plus-scores.  Diplomatically, Sobe and I say, “Hey, fellas.  Can we get in on the next game?”  In a drunken stooper, they arrogantly reply, “yeah, sure, man.  But we ONLY play for money.”  ”Yes. YES,” I said under my breath to Sobe.  ”This is finally our day.  Let’s mop up with these ya-hoos – easy pickins, man!”  Sobe queitly digs into his pocket, hands the guys a business card that says, Steven Sobe, 3-Time GT National Champion, and bluntly says, “are you sure?”  Their reaction was priceless.  We ended up teeing-up with the guys for hours and Sobe showed them the ropes.  That’s the type of guy he is.  Classic.

#4: Sobe is Complicated…

Sobe Tip?…but I imagine Plato confused Aristotle at times too.  To fully take in Sobe’s intense, complex level of understanding of Golden Tee you need to basically forget everything you now about the game, standard vocabulary, physics and geometry.  Inventor (or curator) of such complicated techniques as The Arcade Shot, The Out-and-Out, The Sobe Swerve, The Chush, The Hammer, The Pull-Back-Thumbs, The Softie, The Spinny.  Or his famous, profound expressions like “That was too much funk.” “Hit down on it,” or my personal favorite, “you hit that too good.” Luckily, my secret Sobe decoder ring works pretty well.

Sobe - the consumate slacker

Sobe - the consummate slacker

#3: Sobe is a Terrible Roommate

Sobe and I have shared more rooms in the past five-and-a half years than most grown men should ever have too.  And whether it was the finest (or seediest) hotels in Las Vegas, to the sticks of the South, all the way to the modest means of a stateroom aboard a US Navy aircraft carrier – it didn’t matter, he’s always a celebrity at heart and likes it his way.  Heat on in the summer, late for everything, no wake up calls, takes two hours to shave and primp an 1/8th inch hair.  He’ll make you late for airplanes, leaves ESPN blaring at 4:00AM and don’t forget the tobacco “spitoons” on your nightstand.  Sobe, I’ll miss you – but the thought that  I’ll never have to share a room with you ever again is liberating.  Ahhhh….. There.  I said it.

#2: And the Academy Award Doesn’t Go To…

Sobe!  Not counting course reviews, Sobe and I have recorded dozens and dozens of videos.  I’m always the host and he’s always the *ahem* talent.  But it wasn’t until the past few years when we really found our rhythm.  You just have to let Sobe be him – no scripts, no teleprompter.  Make him act and you won’t get Sobe.  Let him be himself and you get Golden Tee video gold.

Check out the attached outtake for instance.  A little known fact is that Sobe was supposed to do these videos solo.  The director threw me in to loosen up the action.  This was our first shot at “Sobe/Duffer” on camera and started what became our series of Odd Couple-eque media.  Ballllllllzzzzz…..

#1: Steven Sobe is a Good Man.

You see celebrity-types on television or in movies and think, “that person does/doesn’t seem nice in real life.”  You see Sobe during every Golden Tee game played and naturally think, “seems like a nice guy,” right?  He is.  The nicest.  Nobody ribs Sobe harder than I do.  I kid, I joke, and have busted his chops daily for five-years as if it were my duty.  But I do it because he is a grade-A, true-blue good person and great friend.  And anyone who works at IT or has met Sobe will agree.  He takes time to listen and cares about your well being.  That’s all I can ask in a friend and what I will miss most after this Friday.

Sobe, we’ve spent countless hours talking during road trips, at airports, in musty motels, afloat at sea, on the golf course, at the bar and mostly behind the trackball, and I’ll always cherish the time.  Thank you for listening, being a great “partner in crime” and of course an outstanding friend.  It’s been a good run so far and as I said at the start, it’s not good bye, it’s only “so long for now.”

Here are a few final parting photos from some of my favorite Sobe/Duffer moments.   Enjoy -

But enough with mushy stuff.  Consider this blog entry my declaration, that when you bring back the Mt. Airy Golden Tee Open at Sobe’s Backstreet Pavilion, “Duffer” Dan Schrementi will be the first person on the entry list.  Why?  Not because all your mentoring will carry me to victory.  Or because I really miss “talkin’ shop” with you.  Truly, it’s because I hear Backstreet has “the greatest fried mozzarella sticks in North Carolina.”

Good luck, brother….

- DD

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Posted in Golden Tee Goodness, Marketing Insight, Posts by "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | 10 Comments »


A Golden Anthem of Tee

By "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | July 6th, 2009

The goal of the GTB is to give the community insight into the lives of us hardworking marketing-types at Golden Tee Central.  Most of the time, my workaday life is as mundane as yours – toiling away on my dusty keyboard, filing copious amounts of TPS reports and slingin’ copy slop to “sell them games.”  But once in a blue moon marketing opportunities pass by my desk that rekindle the wide-eyed, optimistic business geek I once knew in college.  A “Pre” Duffer Dan, of sorts.

And the following tale is one of those instances.  Enjoy…

Story of the Tune

"It's Golden Tee" by the Ira Dean Band is the ass-kickin' new title track for Golden Tee 2010

"It's Golden Tee" by Ira Dean Band is the ass-kickin' new title track for Golden Tee 2010

Some time ago the marketing team got a call from a manager plugged in to the country music biz.  He said, “Hey, have y’all heard the new Montgomery Gentry song, One In Every Crowd?”  Not country fans by nature, none of us had heard the tune yet.  He replied, “Well, the first word is Gawwllden Tee and it’s climbing the charts!”  A quick Google search confirmed his claim and sure enough, Montgomery Gentry is HUGE!  So, what do we do with this?

*Phone rings…*

On the other line spoke a fella that it seems I’ve met a million times before – a friendly, fun, dude-who’s-got-people.  ”Hey, man,” he said.  ”This is Ira Dean and I’ve been waitin’ to talk to y’all…”  Turns out Ira is a singer/songwriter from Nashville who co-wrote the tune for Montgomery Gentry.  He  was also the bassist for the band Trick Pony, where he spent years touring to sold out crowds and stopping at Golden Tee havens in every city along the way.  A country star and longtime Golden Tee fan, Ira explained how he had written this little ditty a while back about the game he loves and how he was hoping the Montgomery Gentry song would finally connect us.

A professional song about Golden Tee?  I just had to hear this…

So when the demo arrived, I blasted it across the marketing department and smiled from ear to ear.  It really was a song about Golden Tee Golf and in the exact words of Ira, “It f***’n rocks, man!”

*Opportunity knocks…*

Hey, I’m paid to promote IT’s games and we just so happen to be working on our Golden Tee 2010 launch.  After working through some of the logistics to bring this song from “Tune to Tee,” a small video team from IT zipped down to Nashville to shoot a music video with Ira Dean Band.  For one day, I felt like I worked for MTV (or CMT in this case) – our video team and I captured Ira and the band in studio, followed by a Golden Tee shoot at Sam’s Sports Bar and Grill in Nashville – an amazing sports bar near Vanderbilt University that proudly boasts 4 new HI-DEF Showpiece Golden Tee machines (if you’re in the area, this is THE place to play).

The video is nuts and is currently in editing for our 2010 preview launch.  And the tune? It’s got it all – including a sick harmonica track and a billy-rock banjo on top of some heavy guitar, bass and drums.  The lyrics are about having a good time, livin’ life and playin’ Tee – something we can all relate too.

The Inside Scoop: GT 2010

I can tell you now, a shortened version of the video will be created for possible inclusion in GT 2010 and the full track will hopefully be featured in the new 2010 HitList.  Additionally, the team and I are working on the Golden Tee 2010 trailer and we’re using It’s Golden Tee by Ira Dean Band as the title track of the video.

We’ll release the video – which includes the 2010 course previews and feature announcements – in late July, so stay tuned to Goldentee.com and the GTB to not miss out.  And I promise you – you’ve never seen a game preview that rocks as hard as this…

Until then, here’s a GTB exclusive photo gallery documenting our adventure in Nashville with Ira Dean Band.  Click on the thumbnails below, then use the navigation to view the slide show.

Stay tuned to Goldentee.com and the GTB regarding the launch of It’s Golden Tee and our official 2010 preview site!

Good times,

- DD

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Posted in Golden Tee 2010, On the Road, Posts by "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | 5 Comments »


Video – Making Waves: Golden Tee At Sea

By "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | June 16th, 2009

Special thanks to the NAVY and USS John C. Stennis for permission to post this video on Goldentee.com

Well, it’s been nearly six months since the team from Incredible Technologies completed Operation: Golden Tee aboard the USS John C. Stennis aircraft carrier… and nothing has changed.  Our sense of patriotism.  Our sense of pride.  Our wonder and awe – it all remains as strong as the day we disembarked in San Diego.

Stennis Crew Hard at Work

Our experience took place in January, you followed the before and after stories right here on the GTB.  It’s now nearly July and while most of us have lived our normal lives – working, relaxing and spinning trackballs with our friends, the men and women aboard the Stennis have had a different go at it.  They’ve been dedicating their time to protecting our country on a deployment half way around the world.  They’ve worked, worked, worked – hard – for us.  They miss their families, they miss their friends and long to return to normalcy. This dedication has been an inspiration to the Incredible Technologies family as we hope it’s been to yours as well.

Going aboard also taught us that the person behind the sailor is as inspiring as the sailor themselves.  Like us, they love their family and friends.  They have hopes, dreams and their own experiences.  I look at it as if we met “the Golden Tee player” inside.  The average Joe (or Jane), looking for a short break from reality to wind down and be entertained.

That’s where we come in…

Incredible Technologies is an entertainment company – we work to play.  And not only did we walk away from the Stennis inspired, we were proud.  Proud to provide fun.  Proud to be a small, yet happy, piece in peoples’ everyday lives.  Proud that whether folks Tee-up at their corner tavern or while crossing the international date line, they do it for fun, to relax and be entertained.

That’s our mission accomplished.

The video above is an homage to that sentiment.  It’s also a thank you to the dedication of the men and women of the US Navy and all forms of service.  And a thank you to the fine folks on the USS John C. Stennis that took us in as part of their team – our time aboard was short, but the impression left will last a lifetime.

Finally, the main purpose of this video is to remind all of us Golden Tee fans out there to never forget that it’s sometimes the little things in life that can mean so much.

Good times,

- DD

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Posted in Navy, Posts by "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | 3 Comments »


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