Archives for April, 2009


Design-a-Hole Archive: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (Part 3)

By "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | April 22nd, 2009

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

(Part 3 of 3)

Part two was fun, huh?  Picking apart “The Bad” – it really made me  feel like a big man!  Crushing the hopes and dreams of Jim Zielinski wannabes with every touch of a character on my keyboard.  It’s so damn fun to be a critic!  Finally, I’ve learned I can relieve all that pent up “Duffer” angst by bullying fans of the game I am paid to professionally market. It’s a beautiful thing.

(Wow, I really become a sadistic jerk… Do you see what you’ve done to me, Chris Eversole!!!)

But throwing my inflated ego aside, we had a ton of fun with “The Bad” and now it’s time to cover “The Ugly!”  What is “The Ugly” you say?  Well, my friends, it’s the ambrosia salad of Design-a-Hole.  A dash of good, a pinch of bad and a whole lot of weird ingredients.

And when it comes to “The Ugly” the old adage of “save the best for last” applies.  This is the grand finale’ of our three-part series and we wouldn’t be posting these designs if we didn’t think they were, well, fantastically ugly!  So scroll down and enjoy the best of the worst… or the worst of the best… or the rest of the worst’s best… or whatever the hell you want to call ‘em.  Just enjoy!

Good times,

Duffer “U-G-L-Y you aint got no aliby, you ugly” Dan

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THE UGLY

E.T. phoooone hooome... And tell our pal, that this hole is crrrazy! I'll tell you what, , if you would have sent this as a mashed potato sculpture it totally would have won!

E.T. phoooone hooome... And tell our pal, Fred that this hole is crrrazy cool! I'll tell you what, if it would have been submitted as a mashed potato sculpture it totally would have won!

Our pal "Jefe" Allums strikes again and this time he's ugly! Now, the judges understood the Olympic tie-in last year but they disqualified this entry because of the obvious fraud involved - we know your little daughter REALLY drew this, Jeff.

Our pal "Jefe" Allums strikes again and this time he's ugly! Now, the judges understood the Olympic tie-in last year but they disqualified this entry because of the obvious fraud involved - we know your little daughter REALLY drew this, Jeff.

Brad here is a big cigar fine and was obviously inspired by his passion in designing "Smoke: The Experience." But after looking closer, I am starting to think Brad's really not a "cigar" fan at all...

Brad here is a big cigar fan and was obviously inspired by his passion in designing "Smoke: The Experience." But after looking closer, I am starting to think Brad's really not a "cigar" fan at all...

By far the most beautiful of the ugly and an homage to the Civil War hero, General Stonewall Jackson. You know, Shane, the General was once quoted saying, "Always mystify, mislead, and surprise the enemy." Congratulations, my friend. You win.

By far the most beautiful of the ugly and an homage to the Civil War hero, General Stonewall Jackson. You know, Shane, the General was once quoted saying, "Always mystify, mislead, and surprise the enemy." Congratulations, my friend. You win.

Judging for Design-a-Hole 2009 is This week!

Online Voting of Finalists Begins May 1 at Goldentee.com!

Make Your Mark on Golden Tee History and VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

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Posted in Design-a-Hole Contest, Posts by "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | 4 Comments »


Design-a-Hole Archive: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (Part 2)

By "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | April 9th, 2009

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly(Part 2 of 3)

Alright, that’s it – enough of the lovey-dovey crap.  This isn’t tee ball ladies and gentlemen, and not every player is a winner when it comes to Design-a-Hole.  Where there’s up, there’s down; black, there’s white; and good – well – THERE’S BAD!  MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But don’t fret oh-dummies-of-design, the world loves bad!  I’d go as far as to say we NEED bad.  Without bad, good would be nothing!  Think about it – a world of mediocrity where “The Godfather” and “Gigli” sit side-by-side on DVD shelves.  Where the “Beatles” and “Michael Bolton” play back-to-back on “This Week’s Even-40 Chart.”  Or one where Golden Tee World Champ Andy Haas and “Skipper Ripper” Horner are awarded participation ribbons in Prize Play. NOOOOO!!!!!   (Ah, you know we love ya, Skip!)

You see, bad is good.   Hell, even the dictionary goes as far to say that bad can be “outstandingly excellent.”  You’re damn right it can be!  So now you’re about to see what we deem as “bad” from the 2008 Design-a-Hole archive – but were they really?  Naaaa…  They’re more fun than they are bad (well, bad in this case meaning bad, bad not bad) and that’s why we love ‘em!

Time for you to take a look at these “best of the worst” selections and do so with a grain of salt, remembering  it’s hard to be so bad that you’re good.

Good times,

- DD

(Que Michael Jackson Outro)  And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again, WHO’S BAD…

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THE BAD

This idea was submitted by one of the best Golden Tee players in the world and certifies my suspicions that yes - my pal "Dannyboy" Beall is clinically insane! A CONVEX GREEN?!

This idea was submitted by one of the best Golden Tee players in the world and certifies my suspicions that yes – my pal “Dannyboy” Beall is clinically insane! A 30-to-300 yard par 3 with a CONCAVE GREEN?! Come on, Danny!?!?

The Bat Cave is so bad that it would be, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest Golden Tee hole in history. Stalactites, stalagmites and spiderwebs? TO THE BAT CAVE!!!
The Bat Cave is so bad that it would be, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest Golden Tee hole in history!  Stalactites, stalagmites and spiderwebs? TO THE BAT CAVE MY FRIENDS!!!

The nostalgia factor is great here but come on, Gerard, when the wind is blowing out an easy lob wedge would land in Lake Michigan!
The nostalgia factor is great here but come on, Gerard, when the wind is blowing out an easy lob wedge would land in Lake Michigan!

The one and only "Jefe" Allums of the Baja Bean Burrito Co. in VA tried to suck up to the judges with this commerorative anniversary design but somebody should get Jeff a ruler. Veiwed to scale, the green is larger than the forest and the pin is the size of the Statue of Liberty! Here's a hint, my friend - suck up with burritos this year and have a much better chance of success!
The one and only “Jefe” Allums of the Baja Bean Burrito Co. in VA tried to suck up to the judges with this commemorative anniversary design but somebody should get Jeff a ruler. Viewed to scale, the green is larger than the forest and the pin is the size of the Statue of Liberty! Here’s a hint, my friend – suck up with burritos this year and have a much better chance of success!

Stay tuned to blog.goldentee.com next week for the entertaining conclusion of  The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

And there’s still time to enter this year’s contest!

CLICK HERE to learn more!

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Posted in Design-a-Hole Contest, Golden Tee Goodness, Posts by "Duffer" Dan Schrementi | 2 Comments »